we've all been fighting over the most trivial of things. i know one of my greatest flaws is my attitude problem. i've acknowledged this perplexity for quite some time now, but i've never seen the need in change.

i believe i'm an overall nice person, but sometimes, i can be really ...bitchy. i can just be really mean, even over the smallest of situations. it's like, why should i care if my care is neglected? i don't have that much sympathy running through my veins. despite all the times you have wronged me, i've never neglected you. i choose not to apologize, because i explain why i'm indignant, i have justifiable reasons on why my actions result into how it does. but for you, ego surpasses all. you're not willing to just apologize, even if you chose to understand, because you value your ego more than your relationships. my ego isn't the reason why i didn't apologize, i just didn't feel like i've done anything wrong. like about half of the population, i hope, i value sincerity. in the end, i wasn't even asking for an apology, i just wanted you to understand why i went the way i did.

in my defense, i believe my attitude is natural. it's human, habitual tendency. i know my attitude shuts a lot of doors. i tend to not get along with most. i'm rather selective on who i hang out with. yeah yeah, one can say being mean is "wrong," because most see things in black and white, but my life has never been grounded on the "norms." i've never lived up to anyone else's expectations. the way i'm naturally built should be understood. it's like, if i accept me, shouldn't you? if you can't handle me, leave? it's simple as that. hypocritically, i am intolerant of the intolerant.

but then again, hence: CHANGE. i am going to minimize my bitchiness and stop hurting the people i care about. i just want them to realize that it was never my intentions to hurt others. some just need to understand i really do overlook the small things, they don't phase me. just redirect your energy to something more IMPORTANT. stop being so dramatic as you express how you feel, sometimes.

this doesn't mean i'm changing because others have problems with it, this doesn't mean i don't love myself. i want change because i don't want my attitude to be the reason of my problems in the future. so minimize, minimize, minimize, since for a long time, i had no intention of changing myself, damn my stubbornness. but, time have changed and i am forced to reconsider. for as long as i could remember, i've been surrounded by walls of pride, and no matter how much i say i am bold enough to fall weak, i am just as human as the rest, falling into a vulnerable state makes me tremble.

but, if there's one thing i'm good at, i'll just live and learn. the hard way.

we've all been fighting over the most trivial of things. i know one of my greatest flaws is my attitude problem. i've acknowledged this perplexity for quite some time now, but i've never seen the need in change.

i believe i'm an overall nice person, but sometimes, i can be really ...bitchy. i can just be really mean, even over the smallest of situations. it's like, why should i care if my care is neglected? i don't have that much sympathy running through my veins. despite all the times you have wronged me, i've never neglected you. i choose not to apologize, because i explain why i'm indignant, i have justifiable reasons on why my actions result into how it does. but for you, ego surpasses all. you're not willing to just apologize, even if you chose to understand, because you value your ego more than your relationships. my ego isn't the reason why i didn't apologize, i just didn't feel like i've done anything wrong. like about half of the population, i hope, i value sincerity. in the end, i wasn't even asking for an apology, i just wanted you to understand why i went the way i did.

in my defense, i believe my attitude is natural. it's human, habitual tendency. i know my attitude shuts a lot of doors. i tend to not get along with most. i'm rather selective on who i hang out with. yeah yeah, one can say being mean is "wrong," because most see things in black and white, but my life has never been grounded on the "norms." i've never lived up to anyone else's expectations. the way i'm naturally built should be understood. it's like, if i accept me, shouldn't you? if you can't handle me, leave? it's simple as that. hypocritically, i am intolerant of the intolerant.

but then again, hence: CHANGE. i am going to minimize my bitchiness and stop hurting the people i care about. i just want them to realize that it was never my intentions to hurt others. some just need to understand i really do overlook the small things, they don't phase me. just redirect your energy to something more IMPORTANT. stop being so dramatic as you express how you feel, sometimes.

this doesn't mean i'm changing because others have problems with it, this doesn't mean i don't love myself. i want change because i don't want my attitude to be the reason of my problems in the future. so minimize, minimize, minimize, since for a long time, i had no intention of changing myself, damn my stubbornness. but, time have changed and i am forced to reconsider. for as long as i could remember, i've been surrounded by walls of pride, and no matter how much i say i am bold enough to fall weak, i am just as human as the rest, falling into a vulnerable state makes me tremble.

but, if there's one thing i'm good at, i'll just live and learn. the hard way.